Apologies are meant to turn us outward toward the people who have been harmed. They should acknowledge and take full responsibility for hurtful behaviour. They should not be self-serving, and should not attempt to erase the wrongdoing. Edgar Villanueva wrote in his book Decolonizing Wealth, “Decent people and decent societies admit when they’ve done wrong.”
As the primary targets of the anti-Black racism perpetrated by Caroline Riseboro and the Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP) Greater Toronto Chapter Board outlined in Us and Them: What It Means To Belong, we, Nneka Allen and Mide Akerewusi, must speak directly to the issue of the apology. We believe AFP-GTC’s weak and cushioned words, contained in the message buried on LinkedIn and the AFP-GTC website the evening of Wednesday, April 12th, do not meet the standard of a genuine apology.
Their response does not address the many incidents of anti-Black racism perpetrated against us between 2017 and 2019 or their mistreatment of Nneka in November 2019 involving collusion to humiliate and remove her from the Board.
First, we believe delivering a genuine apology requires the basic elements of anti-racism, which are honesty and humility. Both are missing as demonstrated in their lack of specificity regarding their anti-Black actions. AFP-GTC’s message attempts to sidestep addressing the heart of the issue. What they have done is fail to specifically name and acknowledge their wrongdoing, and the specific harm caused. They fail to name the perpetrators thereby ignoring the responsibility of the perpetrators.
We didn’t simply “feel left out”. We were strategically prevented from belonging through racist intimidation and humiliating acts. The greatest affront to us is that instead of naming the anti-Black racism and its perpetrator and holding Caroline and the Board accountable for their racist conduct, AFP-GTC celebrates her and awards her as Fundraiser of the Year after perpetrating racist violence. They do not even see, or pretend not to see, the blatant cruel irony in doing this.
AFP-GTC used the weapon of public humiliation to cause us harm. That was fully intentional; not an accident. It took significant pressure from third parties for them to finally, issue a “soft apology”, nearly 9 weeks after the release of Nneka’s story on LinkedIn. We absolutely reject the notion that they finally “saw the light.” Actually, they were dragged kicking and screaming to this learning opportunity.
We believe fairness delayed is fairness denied. It is only through the sharing of our experiences with and by Co-conspirators did AFP-GTC turn their attention to their past and present acts of anti-Black racist abuse. And again, they were not specific about what acts they refer to and the lessons learned if any. It has been over 3 years since our resignations and this is the first response to what Nneka detailed in her post-resignation letter dated December 12, 2019, to the entire AFP-GTC Board.
Their words of “appreciation and promises to do better” and “learn” are trite and clichéd so as to be meaningless. They have failed to identify the specific measures, beyond waving an audit trump scorecard, they will make in response to the very specific nature of our complaint. We want to know what are they going to do to repair these egregious wrongs.
We believe the virtue signaling and self-serving message about their “Inclusion Diversity Equity and Access (IDEA)” work is a distraction from the racist behaviour that has been documented and witnessed. Racism is a behaviour and we must be held accountable for our actions. We are unimpressed by the hollow and insincere language used in their message which demonstrates yet again their commitment to “looking progressive” instead of being anti-racist. By pointing to their “IDEA” work they seem to believe they can undo the harm caused and reverse the injustice, instead of doing the hard work of seeking repair. This is not accountability because it does not address the anti-Black racism cited in Nneka’s story and the 2-part Giving Black Podcast episodes.
We must share a graphic example of the ineffectiveness of their “IDEA” work. This involves failures in their “IDEA” audit process.
We were originally invited to participate in the AFP-GTC audit after our Brother Rickesh Lakhani and former AFP-GTC Board Member, insisted his participation was contingent on an invitation being sent by AFP-GTC to us and Muthoni Kariuki to also participate so we could share our experiences of anti-Black racism on the Board. The invitation came quickly from the then Executive Director but the auditor was very slow in connecting with Nneka and in the end, she refused to explain how her story would be used in the audit process. The auditor’s lack of transparency and openness prevented Nneka from participating in the audit.
We are not the only Black people who were excluded from this “IDEA” audit and we believe that was by design. This experience is very consistent with our past experiences of their “IDEA” work, some of which are detailed in Nneka’s story. Their un-S.M.A.R.T. scorecard and plan to be more “inclusive” are simply words on a page. AFP-GTC’s notion of inclusion is problematic from the start. The fact that this is their priority signals the level of deafness to the desires of conscious Black fundraisers in this sector and in their organization.
Repair can only begin by admitting their anti-racist acts and holding the perpetrators accountable.
We believe when we deliver an apology to someone we’ve harmed it is expected that the apology be personal and directly delivered to the victims. This did not happen. This statement was impersonally issued by the Board of AFP-GTC, instead of by the President, on behalf of the Board. Apologies are a request and not a statement because the victim has to agree to receive the apology or not. It is a conversation, a dialogue that is the starting place for restoration. It is clear this message from AFP-GTC is a statement and not a request, thus invalidating the act as an apology.
To those who have been encouraging AFP-GTC to honour the gift of our truth and to learn from their mistakes – we see you and recognize your struggle and honour your desire to name anti-Blackness in your midst so that you can change and grow. To AFP-GTA sponsors we invite you to join us, the movement of Canadian fundraisers and anti-racist activists, who have come together to demand change within AFP-GTC. This will require you to review your commitment and support of AFP-GTC in light of the persistent anti-Black racism perpetrated by this organization’s leaders.
We believe it is important to note that the Board of AFP-GTC is currently led by two Black women, Jennifer Bernard and Sandra Sualim, which for us is a demonstration and reminder that anti-Blackness can live in Black bodies. White supremacy culture accepts support from anyone willing to uphold its standards. That doesn’t change the fact that racism is against the law and like all other criminal offences consequences should be expected. This is our starting point on all issues of anti-Black racism.
We call on AFP-GTC to be courageous and humbly admit their wrongdoing, acknowledge what was broken and lost and take responsibility for the harm inflicted. It is our expectation that AFP-GTC will deliver a genuine apology individually to us, Nneka Allen, Mide Akerewusi and Muthoni Kariuki. We want to know what you are doing, your specific actions and behaviours, to avoid this from happening again in the future.
Your inability to adequately deal with anti-Black racism between 2019 and the issuing of your statement last week is an indication that the entire Board is not fit to serve fundraisers in the GTC. You have yet again demonstrated your unwillingness to grapple with issues of racism and specifically anti-Black racism. This fails to meet our expectations or what we deserve in a response to your harmful actions.
You must genuinely apologize without distraction and to our satisfaction so that trust can be built and transformation can begin. This is simply the first step towards repair.
We are waiting!
Nneka Allen & Mide Akerewusi